I'm having my bathroom completely refitted at the moment. Most people's reaction when I tell them this is 'how exciting!' Those who know me really well, however, give me a look normally reserved for people who've experienced a significant personal tragedy, lay a sympathetic hand on my arm and ask, in a voice full of care and concern. 'So, tell me really, how are you coping?'
Having workmen (or women, for that matter) in my home is something I regard, from time to time, as a necessary evil. And which I normally put off for longer than is helpful. Several people (including my lovely bathroom fitter whom I chose because, of all the people who quoted for the job, he was the only one I felt would bring a calm, friendly, no problem insurmountable presence to the job) have asked why I have such a strong aversion to engaging tradespeople. And as I ran through a list of possible reasons (the noise, the disruption, the bad jokes told very loudly from atop ladders) none of which are things I'd choose to have around me and all of which are even less appealing when much of the time I work from home, I knew that this wasn't it. There was something else. And as I was getting ready to work with a client this morning, and for the next onslaught of noise and disruption (steel bath destruction and removal today and floor renewal/repair) and thinking about the 'what is it you're pretending not to know the knowing of which would cause this problem to disappear' question that can be so powerful in coaching sessions, I realised what 'it' was. My first two major house projects (apart from refitting a very small kitchen which I did with a friend, aided by rather a lot of alcohol - and with surprisingly good results) were, in their different ways, a nightmare.
The first (central heating to a flat) saw my heating installer (I won't insult heating engineers by gracing him with that title) threatening to punch my downstairs neighbour who had the temerity to complain about the effect of the many leaks in the newly installed pipework that ran between my floor and his ceiling. It also involved me spending a lot of money with British Gas to sort things out when the first guy got fed up (he got fed up!?!) and left. The second (central heating to house) saw a pinprick of a leak cause thousands of pounds of damage within 3 days of the installation having been completed. I was away for the weekend and the poor guys who had fitted the system thought it would be a nice surprise, as they'd finished early, for me to come home to a warm house. It was a surprise all right. It was so hot and humid it was like walking into the rain forest not a terraced house in cobbled street on the edge of the Peak District!
So, I realised (at long last)that I have some negative anchors here - and now that I know that I can put this behind me and look forward to having more work done on my house in future. I do still think I might arrange to be out when it gets very noisy though.....
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