Are you a goner?

Intro
For those of you short of time or with short attention spans – read, mark and act upon the Carpe Diem Haiku posted earlier this month.

For those of you who do and then say, ‘ah yes, but how? How do I get off my derriere and Make Progress?’

Read on – 8 helpful procrastination beating tips.

Are you a goner?

I don’t mean have you shuffled off this mortal coil, or are you about to. I mean, are you someone who’s always ‘gonna’ do something only to find the thing you do best is procrastinate? Most of us suffer from this at some point or other. For some, it’s a way of life. We’re always going to get around to it.

This is a
round tuit. Guard it
with your life. Tuits are
hard to come by, especially
the round ones. It will help
you to become a much more
efficient worker. For years you've
heard people say,
"I'll do it, when I get a round tuit"
So now that you have one, you
can accomplish all those
things you put aside
until you got your
round tuit.

And even when some well meaning friend or relative (or not so well meaning joker) buys us a round Tuit we still find ourselves busy – and yet not making progress in key areas of our life. Procrastination has many causes including resentment, anxiety, indecision and perfectionism.

At best, it drains us of energy. As author Gita Bellin, recognised, ‘Every time we say 'I must do something' it takes an incredible amount of energy. Far more than physically doing it.’

And at worst? It can cost us our health, relationships, liberty, financial well being and more. It is, as Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby remarked, ‘hands down, our favorite form of self-sabotage.’

So, what can you do about it? Well, it should be easy – if you’re good at procrastinating you’re good at putting things off. So how about you put off putting things off? Or to put it another way, how much better will things be when you start procrastinating about procrastination. And if you were to decide to do it now, here are eight tips to get you started.

1. Be honest with yourself
About why you’re doing something and whether you’re really committed to doing it. If you’re not – then ask yourself
• What will happen if I do this
• What won’t happen if I do this
• What will happen if I don’t do this
• What won’t happen if I don't do this
And then see whether you feel more or less committed than before.

If you’re not committed and can live with the consequences of not doing it – take it off your to do list. My ‘to do’ list used to be cluttered with things that I felt I ‘ought’ to do but they held no great attraction, required considerable effort and there were only minor, if any, negative consequences of not doing them. Taking them off my list freed up a lot of emotional energy that had previously been wasted.

And if you’re not committed and are unwilling to live with the consequences of not acting? More on this another time (ask me if you really can’t wait !)

2. Be honest with others
About where you’re focussing your energy, whether you’ll undertake a task or not and the time and resources needed to complete it.

And keep them up to date with progress.

3. Know that you always have a choice
In the past (and, if I’m honest – I’m still a work in progress as far as this is concerned) I’ve had a tendency to put off tasks I consider unenjoyable, onerous or which I feel have been forced upon me. Completing my annual accounts and tax return is a good example of this. I have resented time spent on this (and therefore put it off as long as possible) because I considered it was something I ‘had to’ do rather than something which I chose to do. The reality, of course, is that I do have a choice. I don’t ‘have’ to complete a tax return. Sure, there are consequences if I don’t – so I can choose which I prefer, completing the form or living with the consequences of not completing it. It’s my choice.

4. Take a first step
Note I’ve said ‘take a first step’. Not ‘take the first step’. One of the things that can sometimes hold us back is feeling we don’t know where to start, or feeling that we can’t start unless the whole path is mapped out before us. Focus on what you can do right now.

As Martin Luther King Jr. said, ‘You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.’

Sometimes we hold back because we think that if we just plan a bit more, and put a bit more effort in then the result will be so much better. There comes a time – often before we recognise it – when it’s right to stop planning and start doing. Taking a first step opens up possibilities and options and takes us nearer our goal.

‘A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan next week.’ ~General George S. Patton

5. Divide the task into bite size chunks
The first time management course I attended (which seemed to me to focus largely on making lists of lists...) advised us to divide our tasks into ‘bite sized chunks’. Our task(s) was likened to an elephant and we were encouraged to divide it up into ‘elephant burgers’ to make it more digestible. Faced, it was argued, with a whole elephant to digest at one sitting was too awful for most of us, vegetarian or not, to contemplate at one sitting.

And I’ve found it to be a useful principle. You know that as you take action each day on your project, you only have to focus on one step at a time. This prevents any feeling of being overwhelmed by the sheer size of the project. Because today’s project – the only thing you need focus on – is just the right size.

6. Invest in a kitchen timer
And use it. I’ve been clearing out my study recently. This is a Big Task and until recently had been in my Too Difficult To Do pile. I just couldn’t see how I’d ever make progress and get to the end of it. Now I’ve chosen to break it down into bite sized chunks and committed to spending half an hour each weekday actively working on it. For half an hour each day, that’s all I focus on. And knowing that it’s only going to be for half an hour makes the whole idea and act of starting – of actually doing it, bearable.

At the start of the thirty minutes I set a kitchen timer. It’s accurate, if somewhat elderly and makes a satisfying tick as it counts the minutes down. In the last few minutes of each session I find myself racing to beat the clock – can I just get this lot filed or these papers sorted before the ‘pinger’ pings?

As soon as it does, I stop. And begin work on something else. This discipline is important – it helps me make progress in several areas each day rather than using one area as an ‘excuse’ to procrastinate elsewhere.

7. Reward action as you go
NB reward action. This is particularly important for long/multifaceted projects where it may be some time before you see results. So, give yourself permission to stop procrastinating about feeling good about how much progress you’re already making – and celebrate it now. And then? Move on to the next task.

And, of course, you can also reward yourself when you get the desired result

8.Know when to stop. And do so.

Name, rank and number

A training course I attended a few years ago started with an invitation to walk round the room, stop in front of someone and ask, in turn, three questions
• Who are you?
• What do you do?
• Why are you here?

The rules were simple
• Only these questions
• One phrase or short sentence for each answer
• No comment, discussion or elaboration, on either side
• A different answer each time
• Never use your name
• Never use the nouns used to describe your profession, occupation, career, job, principal role(s) – paid or unpaid – in life

And we had to keep going until we’d done this with everyone in the room. There were about thirty of us.

It was a useful reminder of how we label – and thus limit- ourselves. We squeeze ourselves into pigeonholes – all very ordered and tidy. And rigid, limited in size and scope, inflexible, static, unchanging, (I could go on, but I’m sure you’re beginning to get the picture).

So, every day for the next month I’m going to answer the questions – both to remind myself that whatever I think I am I am all ways much more than that and that the whole is indeed greater than the sum of the parts. It’ll also mean I’ve got a far more interesting – and real – storehouse of replies when I’m next asked these, or similar questions, for real.

And maybe you’d like to join me – and ask yourself
• Who are you?
• What do you do?
• Why are you here?
The answers may delight and surprise you. I hope so.

Carpe diem Haiku

Sand in an hourglass
Focuses attention
Quick! It’s nearly gone

Faith, hope and NLP?

Reading a book review on Amazon recently, I found myself brought sharply up against a question which had been rising gently through my mind – like an early morning spring mist– for a few weeks. Is there a place of NLP, coaching and hypnotherapy and for ‘self help/development’ in faith? How do the two square with each other?

Is there a place? Well, the answer is ‘it depends’. On what your understanding of faith is and which spiritual tradition you’re coming from. I had been considering it –as had the reader’s review -from the Judaic- Christian viewpoint. And whether or not that’s your own tradition, whether you consider that you have a firm faith or none – I think there is potential learning and growth for all of us in considering this question.

So, from the Judaic -Christian viewpoint is there a place for NLP, coaching, hypnotherapy and so on? And, if so, what is it?

On the one hand, there will be those who, as result of their faith and their understanding of the scriptures, will say that it has no place. That ‘God alone is enough; in Him I trust’ and that if you ‘let go and let God’ all will be well and all manner of things will be well. For some that view, sincerely held, will be their reality.

In pondering this question I was, however, reminded of the joke about a man stuck on an island as the rains came, the river rose and the storms lashed about him. A passerby on the bank threw him a rope but the man refused to grab it. ‘Thank you,’ he said ‘but I won’t need that. God will look after me.’

The storms continued to rage, the river continued to rise –threatening to burst its banks. A rescue team, alerted by the passer by, sent a boat to the man in the river. Once again he refused to get in because “God will look after me”.

The rains lashed down even harder, the wind howled incessantly and the river continued to rise. Cold and exhausted, the man found just enough strength to climb the pole of a navigation marker. As he did so, a helicopter came by to pick him up. They winched someone down who started unravelling a harness so they could lift him to safety. But again the man refused, saying ‘thank you. But that won’t be necessary. I’m sure God will look after me’.

The storms continued and no more help came. The man drowned. When he stood before God, he was both angry and hurt. “Why didn’t you look after and save me?” he screamed. God, sighed, and with deep compassion and sadness said “I wanted to. I sent you a rope, a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want?”

I was reminded, too, of the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand and a ‘take’ on this which I first heard, quite unexpectedly, from the mouth of Michael Breen but which I have since heard from an Anglican pulpit and which I have continued to develop and refine as I ponder the place for NLP etc alongside faith.

[For those of you unfamiliar with the story, briefly it’s this. Jesus and his disciples take themselves off for some peace and quiet. But people got to hear of it and followed him and soon there was a big crowd. Jesus spent some time teaching the crowd before the disciples started to encourage him to send the people away to find food and lodging. Instead, Jesus tells his disciples to give them something to eat. They start to protest that there are too many people and it will cost too much and Jesus, rather than saying ‘ok then, leave it with me’ tells them to hunt around and find out what food is available. The answer? ‘Five loaves and two fishes’; hardly, one would think, enough to feed Jesus and his immediate followers, let alone such a large crowd. But Jesus takes what they’ve found and uses it – and there is more than enough food for everyone].

Now whether or not you take the story as a literal account of not, I think it has some clues to the answers to my question. It suggests to me, that faith recognises and requires us to identify and acknowledge the resources we already have and can call upon – both in ourselves and from around us including God, whatever that means for us. The NLP presupposition that ‘you have all the resources you need’ is consistent with the feeding of the five thousand. It isn’t about being self reliant; it is about reviewing and using what you’ve got (something the man by the river singularly field to do with devastating results).

It reminds us that sometimes help comes from unexpected or previously unknown or ignored sources (the loaves and fishes were provided by a small boy, easily overlooked in a large crowd – or dismissed because ‘there’s no way that will work – five loaves and two fish to feed five thousand? Impossible!’). And of course, one of the presuppositions of NLP reminds us that flexibility is key to success.

In the Bible story, the disciples have to hand over what they’ve got – until they do so, the loaves and fishes will be woefully inadequate. This is a useful reminder of the importance of committing to and engaging with the process and of taking action rather than leaving it – and responsibility for the outcome – with someone or something else.

There’s more, of course, (al[l]ways) and for now I have my answer. How about you?