Seeing red

Lots to do this morning and posting here wasn't on the list.

But I was so taken by the glorious colour of the rhus tree that I can see from my study window that I just had to put finger to keyboard. The leaves are a glorious reddy-orange and, tossed about in this morning's breeze, remind me of cosy nights in by the fire. Normally, when we talk about 'seeing red' we use it as a metaphor for anger, frustration, and crossness. But for me, this morning, faced with an over long list of things to do, many of them in the 'dull but necessary' brigade, seeing red was a delight and a reminder of just how much there is to take delight in without having to venture very far afield or incur significant expenditure.

Unsure, as I was, how to spell 'rhus' ( was, it, I wondered, two 's's or one?) I did a quick Google search and found that this beautiful tree has sap which can, in some people, causes a nasty allergic reaction . I learned, too, that in some parts of the world it is regarded as a noxious weed and landowners are obliged to clear it.  

So it seems to be that the tree is a useful metaphor in itself. For how we process things through our filters to make sense of the world and the fact that we can, if we choose, change those filters and thus our view of the world.

And there's more (of course!). Most of the year the rhus is an unremarkable tree-bush that adds, for me, no visual - or other - appeal to my garden. And yet, as I was reminded this morning, that same tree has great beauty within it - just waiting for the chance to shine. Another metaphor, perhaps? I think so.

New Broom

The chimney sweep made his long awaited visit this morning.

I’d made the appointment some weeks ago. Having the chimney swept in readiness for winter had been on my ‘list of things to do’ for a while – and, when I finally got round to it, I found he was much in demand.  He tells me that there’s at least a three month waiting list now – suddenly people have ‘woken up’ to the fact that the nights are drawing in, there’s a cold snap in the air and that before very long the supermarkets and shops will be endeavouring to create a sense of seasonal bonhomie as they serenade us to the sounds of Bing singing about ‘chestnuts roasting on an open fire’. Except, of course, for those poor souls who (like me last year) delayed too long and couldn’t find a sweep who was available before Christmas – any chestnut roasting will have to happen elsewhere.

Because I didntl have my chimney swept last year I had very few fires- no more than a handful at most, last winter. And probably not much more than that in the previous year.  What struck me, however, was just how much stuff had accumulated in the chimney – all unbeknown to me. And I wondered whether Mr Sweep might have been offering a metaphor about the value of living in the now, of paying attention, and to what can happen if we take our eye off the ball and , the reassurance, if any is needed,  that it’s always possible to get back on track. The key, it seems to me, is taking action. Be (at) cause you can.

Remember your future

Today I have been assisting, as a coach, at a NLP Master Practitioner course. As always, I have felt very privileged to do this and share my learning with others. And I have been. Learning. that is.

One of the many great things today was experiencing the participants' creativity and skill in using metaphors with nested loops and enhancing this by some really masterful language. Lots of phrases jumped out at me, duly noted in my notebook for reflection on later. Two, will, however, suffice for now. They are

• ·         Remember your future and
• ·         It's a great life. I made it. (oh, I just love some of the artful vagueness/double entendre of this one)

I wonder what words have hit home with you today?

Clarity through ambiguity

Yesterday I was at meeting that was considering the impact of the proposed changes in the NHS for staff. It was suggested, rightly in my view, that one of the key tasks for the Board and other leaders/managers during these uncertain times was to provide 'clarity through ambiguity'. What was meant by this was that in the face of ambiguity and uncertainty, our role was to provide clarity and, to a greater or lesser degree, direction. No small task!

Enjoying, as I do, word play and language patterns I playfully considered how some government departments might truthfully adopt 'clarity through ambiguity' as their slogan - but with rather different meaning/intent to the one outlined above, i.e. as a true oxymoron.

And then I got to thinking about Milton Erikson (as an aside, am I the only Radio 4 listener in the UK who can't hear Erikson's first name without singing Milton Jones's theme tune?) and how with his 'artfully vague' language he helped (and those of us who have modelled some, at least, of our languaging on him, continue to help) people achieve clarity through ambiguity. Neat, huh?

Life Goals & Personal Development

I came across this article Life Goals & Personal Development   today and thought it provided food for thought (hmmm.. yesterday it was soul food, today it's food for thought - there's a theme emerging here!)

When did you last review your goals and the progress you're making towards them? You can do it before January 1st, you know !

Soul Food

I've recently returned from two weeks holiday in the English Lake District.

Whenever and wherever I go on holiday I am always reminded of how lucky I am. In all sorts of ways - being able to be able to go on holiday at all, having great holiday companions, living in a country that has such varied landscapes. And that's just for starters.

For me, one of the great joys of going on holiday, whether at home or abroad, is to walk. Preferably in the countryside. I love the way it helps reconnect me with my body, my natural environment and my sense of self. This holiday, on one of our walks, we stopped for lunch- perched on a craggy outcrop above a lake, and munch happily in silence drinking in the view. After a while my companion turned to me and said, 'this is soul food'. And I knew she wasn't talking about my lovingly crafted picnic (although that got rave reviews, too!)

And she was right, it WAS soul food. Just as the sun was topping up our vitamin D supplies, everything else was reaching deep down into other parts of us, blowing away mental cobwebs and restoring us - physically and emotionally to some kind of equilibrium. Pure magic.

As we treated ourselves to foot massages (a different type of sole food!) that night we pondered, not for the first time, why we didn't do this more often. 'This' in this case didn't necessarily mean taking two weeks off in The Lakes (though that would be nice...) but taking time just to 'be' and enjoy what's around us.

So now I'm back in the small seaside town in which I live I've promised myself that I will pay more attention to keeping my soul food supply topped up. Different people get their soul food in different ways. And it's not uncommon for us to neglect it. And, in the long (and sometimes not so long) run, that does no one any good.

So, where do you get your soul food? And what are you going to do to make sure you keep your supply topped up? And even if you don't know the answer yet, it's certainly food for thought.

The map is not the territory

One of the key NLP presuppositions is that the map is not the territory.

As a seasoned NLP-er that makes sense to me (if you want to know what it means- ask). But doesn't help when I am about to embark on my late summer hols and find that there's no map!

The holiday company have given me an address and a postcode (that's a zip code to my transatlantic friends).

I've tried every which way I know to find one or other or both on the internet. And neither the address, the postcode, nor variations of the same are recognised...

Last time I had real (and I mean REAL) problems locating a holiday home I found myself faced, in the dark and seemingly in the middle of nowhere, by a man with a shotgun. As you might imagine, I scarpered pretty quickly!

Once I found a town and found the gendarmerie closed and no signs of life I was in despair - until I saw a sliver of light from under a window shutter. I couldn't find a door so just hammered like billy-o on the shutter. And am forever grateful for the kind French people who interrupted their Very Posh dinner party to escort (nb - not to give directions, but to lead the way) us to our destination.

I hope that won't be necessary this time. And, if it is, that the natives of the Lakes are as friendly as the natives of the not quite Loire valley.

Meanwhile, I shall ponder what it means to have neither territory nor map....

Veg Talk 4

Regular followers will know that a few months ago my veg patch was a constant source of inspiration for my blog.


And it remains thus - it's just harder to put finger to keyboard when busy with watering, weeding, eliminating (oh, I do so hope I have) powdery mildew and finding yet more recipes to deal with a glut of courgettes. (Hey, I'm not complaining - home-grown courgettes are THE business. And, most recipients of my surplus have been glad - though I am mindful of a website that gave 10 tips for dealing with a surplus and number 9 was placing 2 courgettes on every neighbours' doorstep - and it came with a health warning that this was as good idea until/unless everyone read the same website/had the same idea..)

So, what are my most recent learnings via the veg patch?

• It's good to find other/different ways of packaging things (my courgette chutney is STUNNING!!)
• If you take your eye of the ball - unexpected and sometimes unwelcome things happen ( powdery mildew sucks|)
• People may tell you things are difficult but they aren't necessarily telling the truth (my supposedly hard to grow aubergines have been a BIG success)

And, of course, there's always more.....

Caught between a rock and a hard place

Decision making isn't always easy.

Sometimes it can feel we are caught between a rock and a hard place. My latest ezine article gives a simple - but oh so powerful - set of questions to help untie the knots.

Oh, and by the way, it also includes a link to the story of a young man who was, quite literally, caught between a rock and a hard place and faced with a decision that most of us, thankfully, will never encounter for real.

Live your passion

Not my normal type of post this - and one which I nevertheless hope will help a lot of people, including you.

Click on this link to get details of a free e book (over 200 pages - haven't read beyond the first few yet, so can't vouch for its quality) about living and making a living from your passion. It IS free, And the author, hopes you;ll feel moved to make a donation to one of his passions - supporting homeless children and young people in the States. Get your copy here

Never too old to learn

I've been surprised by quite a few people's reactions when I tell them about my visit to Dans Le Noir (see August 26^th - Kept in the Dark). Quite a number have asked , 'what would you want to do that for?'

Now, while in some ways I'm not always the most adventurous of souls, I do - or so a colleague told me recently (and I think she's spot on) - have what she described as an 'indefatigable capacity to see everything as an opportunity to learn'. And, more than a week later, I am still discovering and processing my learnings from that trip - and indeed from others' responses. (This  capacity has, incidentally, been stretched to its limits this week with my phone/alarm saga - but more on that another time...)

Actually, I think it's a pretty useful quality - consistent with  the NLP presupposition of there being no failure only feedback (and Edison is reputed to have said, of his many unsuccessful attempts to make what we now know as a light bulb, 'I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work')- though recognise that it can be counterproductive to be too gung ho or Pollyanna-ish about it.

Years ago when I assisted on occasional outdoor based training courses for young, high potential ICI recruits, I came across a quote on someone's wall that said 'to know and not to do is not yet to do'. (If you know the provenance of the quote-  please do tell). It's stayed with me all these years because , I think, it goes to the very heart of learning  and draws a distinction between 'head' or theoretical learning and 'embodied' or utilised learning.

So, for me - and I hope for you, a useful question to star tthe day with is 'what did I learn yesterday and what am I going to do as a result?' Note - not what am I going to do differently (although it may be useful to consider that) but simply 'what am I going to do?' This allows for me doing more or less of something. Or the same (because I've learned it works). Or stopping (because I've learned it doesn’t ). The 'anchor music' for my NLP Master Practitioner course was 'What have you done today to make yourself feel proud'. It could equally have been 'What have you learned today to make yourself  feel proud'.

~ Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Not enough hours in the day?

Sound familiar? then have a look at my latest article on ezine- Get more done: 5 quick and easy ways to achieve more. Click here to access.

Oh, and driving home tonight I heard an ad for Christmas party venues - and it's only the 1st September ?!?!? So maybe I need help getting more done in less, time, too !

Hot off the press

September’s newsletter will be available to subscribers (it’s free, you just need to sign up) from tomorrow - 1st September. It’s packed with interesting snippets including

• how to choose a therapist or coach – a sneak preview of our free information sheet about this
• questions – powerful communication tools
• questions – powerful self discovery tools

It also previews an exciting new product launch (due October 2010) and offers you a cool 15% off your purchase. To sign up for your copy click here.

The question is - are your prepared for the answer?

Someone, I can't quite remember who - though there are several suspects - once remarked to me

'If you don't want the answer, don't ask the question'

And years later it still strikes me as pretty sound advice.

And advice that could be made even better by making it

'If you don't want to deal with the answer, don't ask the question.'

This has really been brought home to me recently by some lacklustre customer service.

'Did you,' asked the man on duty at a hotel reception desk recently, 'enjoy your stay, madam?'
' The bed was very comfortable and the room was fine, 'I said - before continuing - without pause and in the same, even, tone 'but I was very disappointed both by the lack of provision for vegetarians on the menu and of chef's reaction when I asked him what might be possible'.

The man suddenly seemed to have a very interesting message written on his shoes that mean he felt the need to study them intently. I think it said ' say nothing and she might go away'. Because that's what he - and I, did. And I won't be back!

Sadly, this is but one of several examples in recent days.

But it applies in other areas of life, too.

I happened to mention to someone that I offered hypnotherapy and she said 'oh, could you help me stop smoking?' I agreed that indeed I could and would be happy to help. When I followed up, however#, she realised that she didn't really want to give up smoking - which is to say, she wasn't yet ready to deal with the answer to her question. And that's fine - at least she realised before we got stuck in and she'd invested time, energy and money on something she doesn't currently want.

Questions - as my series of articles in my newsletter is exploring - are powerful communication tools. Just so long as you're prepared for the answer!

Get on with it !!

My top 10 tips to beat procrastination are now available as an ezine article. Similar to my March post - but I've added a couple of new tips and, for those of you short of time, reduced the word count slightly. So, go on- what are you waiting for ?!

Dans le noir.....

Some of you have asked for a photo of me having lunch at Dans le Noir (see yesterday's post) So, here it is - I'm sitting third from the left.